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Learn more about Ninjas

Centuries ago in feudal Japan, Ninja were very active and very real. These legendary warriors were highly skilled not only in martial arts, but a whole range of life’s necessities and pleasures, these included farming, medicine, music, religion and philosophy. Its true, they were not always the good guys and in fact their skills were in such high demand that local lords, government and anyone with the dollar, could hire them for their military skills, carrying out assassinations and espionage to order. In fact, much of our armed forces modern day tactic stem from the Ninja.

Today, it’s a very different story and still, much of what we know about them as fact, is little more than legend. So, allow us to enlighten you with some evidenced information that belies the myths.

Trained since birth to survive on nothing more than a bowl of rice, ninjas know which online supermarket sites offer the best discounts and can sense the best delivery times to achieve FREE delivery to coincide with their circadian rhythms, keeping them lean mean fighting machines.

Ninjas are able to navigate by the stars crossing the vast wilderness without the need of a compass. In fact, most ninjas use Google Maps, their real skill lies in getting a signal so far away from civilisation.

In some ways, Ninjas are like boy scouts, they use seemingly useless things like analytical tools to feedback information that appears spiritually divined. With nothing more than a simple computer and some Spanish moss, the Ninja is able to make positive business changes to uplift sales figures. The Spanish Moss is just something they like to chew on.

As highly trained assassins, Ninjas follow a very strict regime laid down by their Sensei. This includes self-flagellation exercises such as walking bare foot for many miles a day, sleep deprivation and wearing shorts all year-round. Other self-discipline regimes include avoiding social interaction with others and buying their clothing at ASDA. These privations are believed to sharpen a Ninjas senses and make them the ultimate keyboard warrior.

THIS “IS NOT” A NINJA

Using a series of traditional herbal remedies know as Malware chews; the Ninja is able to train his body and mind to resist levels of pain that would kill a normal person. They achieve this by constantly resisting viruses and bugs in their code making them W3C compliant. Once they pass this 5th Dan test they can then enter the world reborn.

When training, ninjas group off into different colours. A ninja has to stay with his colour at all times otherwise they get kicked repeatedly as punishment. The Ninjas I know tend to be from #ffffff although I have met a couple of Rowen Ninja who were #666666, weird!!!

Well we hope this myth busting blog has helped you gain a better understanding of the facts about Ninjas. Any questions, feel free to comment!

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